93 Quotes by Frank Carson

My wife said to me: 'If you won the lottery, would you still love me?' I said: 'Of course I would. I'd miss you, but I'd still love you.'

What's the difference between my wife and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist.

I don't think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.

So I rang up British Telecom, I said 'I want to report a nuisance caller', he said 'Not you again'.

Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold the engine?

My idea for peace in the Middle East is to go back to the 1966 line, but to build even more houses for the Palestinians, who are a poor people.

The thirties were troublesome in Belfast, and then of course there was no work for people, and it was terribly religiously divided.

People in Northern Ireland vote for their church, they don't vote with their heads; it is ridiculous.

I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man.