93 Quotes by Frank Carson

America has only 100 Senators for 309 million people, but Stormont has 108 members for 1.7 million.

It's never occurred to me to worry about my health, or that I'll get old, or that people will stop laughing at me.

Most of my jokes are racist - usually about the Irish.

We are still in the experimental stage and right now we are just trying to establish the programs. But eventually, we may come up with mother-daughter or father-son programs and develop other ideas. Ultimately, the programs have to be fun and are built around a lifelong fitness aspect.

It's the way I tell em, It's a cracker.

I was in the Far East and I went into a restaurant and I ordered octopus and the waiter said: "It takes four hours." I asked why and he said: "It keeps turning off the gas."

There was a man sitting in the dining room of the Titanic, he said: "I know I asked for ice, but this is ridiculous."

I'm really worried about my girlfriend's morals ... she has NEXT written on her knickers.

The council in Blackpool have given the homeless bus passes, but how would they know where to get off?