144 Quotes by Fred Allen

Three million frogs' legs are served in Paris - daily. Nobody knows what became of the rest of the frogs.

On ships they call them barnacles; in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.

My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get, except the blinding headaches.

Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.

She used to be a teacher but she has no class now.

To a newspaperman, a human being is an item with skin wrapped around it.

The average vice-president is a form of executive fungus that attaches itself to a desk. On a boat this growth would be called a barnacle.

It was once rumored that fledgling executives walked around their offices backwards so they wouldn't have to face an issue.

Hollywood is a great place if you're an orange.