144 Quotes by Fred Allen

A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

Committee - a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done.

Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.

The vice-president of an advertising agency is a bit of executive fungus that forms on a desk that has been exposed to conference.

Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.

What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.

Radio is a bag of mediocrity where little men with carbon minds wallow in sluice of their own making.