184 Quotes by Gabriel Iglesias

Walgreens, Rite Aid, CVS and Wal-Mart have all figured out the evolution of life and they grabbed all the products that are necessary for a life. And they stuck them in one aisle and they put them in order according to how you mess up... First thing you're going to see: condoms. Next to that: lubricant. Next to that: pregnancy test. Next to that: Pampers. Next to that: formula. And at the end of the aisle they sell beer.

Wearing a Hawaiian shirt, you don't ever come across as offensive. Nobody sees you as a threat. You see someone in a Hawaiian shirt, and you are like 'this guy is ready to party.'

I got off the plane - I was walking and cooking at the same time.

Anything is possible as long as you're focused, determined and you really want to do it.

I’m not fat. I’m fluffy!

If you Google the word “fluffy,” I’m the first thing that pops up. It’s me, dogs and rabbits.

When you go to Hawaii, it’s all about “Aloha.” It means hello, goodbye and I love you.

I don’t want to die tomorrow knowing I could’ve had a piece of cake tonight.

Comedy is my passion. I’m going to do this until I drop.