47 Quotes by Gene Weingarten

Let’s put to rest one cliché. You can sell refrigerators to Eskimos. The people of Savoonga are Yupiks, the westernmost of the Eskimo tribes, closer to Siberians than American Eskimos in their appearance, and their customs, and their distinctive, liquidly sibilant native language. And, yes, they all have refrigerators. In the winter, food gets freezer burn if left out in the elements. Eskimos need refrigerators to keep their food warm.

The poet Billy Collins once laughingly observed that all babies are born with a knowledge of poetry, because the lub-dub of the mother's heart is in iambic meter. Then, Collins said, life slowly starts to choke the poetry out of us. It may be true with music, too.

Life is essentially a fatal disease of indeterminate duration.

I am the most skilled parallel parker the world has ever known.

I felt like I was never going to be a great writer. I felt like I was going to be a good writer at best. I wanted to be great at something.

Sometimes, homely things are done for the best reasons in the world and thus achieve a beauty of their own.

The Pulitzer is a crapshoot. Your piece has to hit a few people the right way at the right moment.

The whole point of corporate mascots is to be distinctive. No one in his right mind would ever confuse the Hamburglar with Mayor McCheese.

When she was too young to resist, or even to understand, I turned my daughter into a lifelong, rabid Yankees fan.