255 Quotes by George Burns

There are many ways to die in bed, but the best way is not alone.

If I paid ten dollars for a cigar, first I'd make love to it, then I'd smoke it.

How did I ever get sick? I've already had everything.

I would read Playboy more often, but my glasses keep steaming up.

A married couple that plays cards together is just a fight that hasn't started yet.

I smoke cigars because at my age if I don't have something to hang on to I might fall down.

I did go to school - my kind of school. When I was a kid I went out ... and you meet people. You talk to them. Anybody says something that makes sense, it stays with you, rubs off on you. That kind of school.

Joy is obtaining a big, loving, caring shut-knit household in yet another town.

I'd rather be over the hill than under it.