255 Quotes by George Burns

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.

If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.

How can I die? I'm booked.

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

If I get big laughs, I'm a comedian. If I get little laughs, I'm a humorist. If I get no laughs, I'm a singer.

When I wasn't working, I put the blame directly where it belonged - I blamed my agent. When I didn't have an agent, I spent time looking for a new agent so I would have somebody to blame.

If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.

When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.

From Paris we took the Orient Express to Vienna. I must say I was terribly disappointed; nobody was murdered on the train.