255 Quotes by George Burns

In those days the best painkiller was ice; it wasn't addictive and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it.

I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.

People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit.

It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.

I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere.

Define your business goals clearly so that others can see them as you do.

I find you have to take each day as it comes and be thankful for who's left and whatever you can still do.

If it's a good script I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and they pay me enough, I'll do it.

Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life.