94 Quotes by George Mikes

Was he joking? Was he being sarcastic? Aggressive? Impertinent? Or just courteous? There was no telling from his impassive face. What a country, he thought despairingly. In Russia you always knew. If a man made a stern face he was threatening; if he was laughing uproariously, he was joking.

In Moscow they do not pay much attention to the living but keep their cemeteries in a splendid state.

A foreign observer is struck by our gentleness: by the orderly behaviour of the English crowds, the lack of pushing and quarrelling, the willingness to form queues.

The English take everything with an exquisite sense of humour. They are only offended if you tell them that they have no sense of humour.

Japan suffered terribly from the atomic bomb but never adopted a pose of moral superiority, implying: 'We would never have done it!' The Japanese know perfectly well they would have used it had they had it. They accept the idea that war is war; they give no quarter and accept none. Total war, they recognize, knows no Queensberry Rules. If you develop a devastating new weapon during a total war, you use it; you do not put it into the War Museum.

To have created a Welfare State was a great achievement; but we must go on to create a Welfare Planet.

Prices in Italy are only slightly lower than in France, which means that Italy is a very expensive country for everyone, natives, visitors and tourists.

English humor resembles the Loch Ness Monster in that both are famous but there is a strong suspicion that neither exists.

The English are always ready to admire anything so long as they can queue up.