565 Quotes by Groucho Marx

The Arab and the camel are inseparable. It's been said that and Arab would give up his wife rather than give up his camel. Personally, I haven't got a camel, but I think it's a great idea.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Dig trenches? With our men being killed off like flies? There isn't time to dig trenches. We'll have to buy them ready made.

If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much - just an occasional sun visor.

She's so in love with me, she doesn't know anything. That's why she's in love with me.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

I've been around so long, I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin.

The months before my son was born, I used to yell from night to morn, 'Whatever it is, I'm against it! No matter what it is or who commenced it, I'm against it!'

He thinks I look alike!