565 Quotes by Groucho Marx

I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.

Any place I hang my head is home.

Por el mero hecho de existir la gente se cree con derecho a ser feliz.

Since my daughter is only half-Jewish, could she go in the water up to her knees?

Gentlemen, Chicolini here may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot. I implore you, send him back to his father and brothers, who are waiting for him with open arms in the penitentiary. I suggest that we give him ten years in Leavenworth, or eleven years in Twelveworth.

I am a man and you are a woman. I can't think of a better arrangement.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife.

If they'd lower the taxes and get rid of the smog and clean up the traffic mess, I really believe I'd settle here until the next earthquake.