357 Quotes by Henny Youngman
- Author Henny Youngman
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Why don't Jews drink? It interferes with their suffering.
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My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.
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If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
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My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.
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We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.
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The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner....
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A car hit a Jewish man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?" The man says, "I make a good living."
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I asked a Jewish man, "Do you know where Michigan Avenue is?" He said, "Yes", and walked away.
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Let's get up here before we get killed!
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