15 Quotes by Henry Youngman

I've got all the money I'll ever need if I die by four o'clock this afternoon.

I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o clock.

If your going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for in the morning, sleep late.

I asked a Jewish man "Do you know where Michigan Avenue is?" He said "Yes", and walked away.

A Jewish woman had 2 chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well.

The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back." Mrs. Cohen answered "So did my arthritis!