38 Quotes by Jackie Gleason

If you have it and you know you have it, then you have it. If you have it and don't know you have it, you don't have it. If you don't have it but you think you have it, then you have it.

Thin people are beautiful, but fat people are adorable.

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.

Our dreams are firsthand creations, rather than residues of waking life. We have the capacity for infinite creativity; at least while dreaming, we partake of the power of the Spirit, the infinite Godhead that creates the cosmos.

One of these days, Alice. Pow! Right in the kisser!

I only made $200 a week and I had to buy my own bullets.

I always knew what I was doing.

The Miami Beach audience is the greatest audience in the world.

I drink for the honorable purpose of getting bagged.