438 Quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.

A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon.'

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.

When I first started out, being from the South and going to New York or Chicago, people kept telling me to get voice lessons and 'lose that stupid accent you got.' And I'm like, 'Well, where I come from, you have the stupid accent.'

Kids aren't suppose to have cancer, they're suppose to have a future.

You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.

You know that you are a teacher when you spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.