438 Quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.

You might be a redneck if your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire on her house.

If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, drop them off at the wrong house.

My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.

You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.

I teach a Bible study for homeless guys in downtown Atlanta every week. Been doing it for years. That's the guys I'd rather go talk to. I'd rather take my act outside the church.

I say, If everybody in this house lives where it's God first, friends and family second and you third, we won't ever have an argument.