438 Quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.

You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.

Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they'll spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.

You might be a redneck if your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!'

You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.

By the time we get to church, I need church cuz I've been yelled at by everyone in the family.

You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.

You might be a redneck if the tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.