504 Quotes by Jerry Seinfeld

I don't wanna be a Pirate!!!!

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

Can't you at least die with a little dignity?

I love advertising because I love lying.

Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.

All I ever wanted to do is make people laugh.

Boy, I miss the days they made toys that could kill a kid.

Responsible, who wants to be responsible? Whenever something bad happens, it's always, who's responsible for this?

Make no mistake about why these babies are here - they are here to replace us.