504 Quotes by Jerry Seinfeld

There's a tremendous power and energy in sharing your life with another person.

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

Artists are always looking for new things and fresh ground and fresh air. If it feels new to me, there's a chance it'll feel new to the audience and we'll have found something.

I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

There is nothing more rewarding than completing a goal you have set for yourself.

I'm a big believer than a great bit is a great bit - if I go and see someone I love, like Robert Klein. I want to hear some classics and some new stuff. But a great stand-up bit takes a long time to really polish and perfect, and they're beautiful things when they're done.

When men are growing up and they're reading about Batman, Spiderman, Superman ... those are not fantasies ... they're options.

Everything is in how you are going to handle it. As a lifelong nightclub comic, I'm ready to handle whatever I have to handle.

Marriage is like a game of chess except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.