149 Quotes by Jimmy Carr

But what's true about comedians is that we've all got a huge hole in our personality. In a room of 3,000 people, we're the one person facing in the opposite direction - yet we have this overwhelming desire to be liked.

Jokes spread around the world and embed themselves in our shared culture; the most resonant of them get lodged in the language in the same way as clichés or old wives' tales do.

I love those people who do story-telling and who ramble on, but I don't do that, I tell jokes - the sort of jokes that anyone really could tell in the pub.

Yes, I have this crazy honk of a laugh.

You never want to be the grumpy guy, although I do have quite a grumpy face.

It is such a social thing, laughing. Two thousand people in a room laughing is such a great buzz and they tend to laugh much more in a group.

If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?

Throwing acid is wrong... in some people's eyes.

A surprising amount of my jokes sound very implausible but are true.