149 Quotes by Jimmy Carr

I don't think young people should have bottoms, they're too young for that sort of thing.

Saying that you don't believe in magic but do believe in god is a bit like saying you don't have sex with dogs, except labradors.

I may be middle class, but I'm hard. 'Al dente', you could say.

More people are going out to comedy shows than they were before.

I go around the country and do a simple gag like, 'The property ladder is now a snake' and get a real laugh.

I was in love with the idea of being in love with a woman way before I was actually in love with one.

Women were quite terrifying until I was older. I think that's partly down to confidence.

The bigger the audience, the better with comedy.

No matter how much you give a homeless person for tea... you never get that tea.