64 Quotes by Jimmy Kimmel

I'm sure I would, ... But that would be funny for you.

I know there are, like, 12 rules for late night: a desk, a band. Will people take me seriously if I don't wear a tie?

I don't really need to be dirty to be funny.

I don't know if we can call ourselves everyday Joes. I think Supermen is more appropriate. We're just trying to take back the medium we invented!

If I have one criticism of the other late-night shows, it's that they're almost entirely scripted.

I can't be as flip as I once was.

You can say Pizza Hut is terrible pizza, but they also sell more pizzas than anybody else.

The truth is, we have this idea that late night is about creativity and being cool, but that's not our job. Our job is to get as many people watching the commercials in between our show. That's the reality of it.

People's lives are boring.