619 Quotes by Joan Rivers

When I am on E! for the 'Fashion Police,' I only care about being a critic. It loses me many friends.

With this face, I need all the deals I can get.

My father was a doctor so I was around death all my life. So, I was very used to it because he was a f-king doctor.

We don't apologize for a joke. We are comics. We are here to make you laugh. If you don't get it, then don't watch us.

Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience directly - hurt, bitterness, grief and, most of all, fear.

Anyone that says looks don't count is lying.

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.

Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.

Age - it's the one mountain you can't overcome.