218 Quotes by John Oliver

Attending a Sarah Palin rally was simultaneously one of the strangest and most chilling events of my life.

I don't know if there is some psychological thing of wanting to know where your doctor got his degree from before he comes into the medical room.

Stand-up, for me, is really more of an addiction, so you have to feed the beast whenever you can.

When you're doing stand-up, you want to stand onstage and, to the extent that you can, uncomplicatedly entertain.

Every empire has to get sucked down the drain. As a British person, I know how it feels.

We invented words; we'll tell you how they're supposed to sound.

I think puns are not just the lowest form of wit, but the lowest form of human behavior.

People, I guess, generally come to see me do stand-up with a working knowledge of my broad sense of humor on The Daily Show ... I don't think anyone would mistake me as an actual anchor.

Campaign ads are the backbone of American democracy if American democracy suffered a gigantic spinal injury.