48 Quotes by Jonathan Dunne

What do you mean? In Old Castle? I still live with my parents in case you haven’t noticed, Jack. Those two strangers – that man and woman sitting on my sofa – are actually my parents. Oh, you mean your place? Yes, let’s evict your parents…let’s place them neatly in a cardboard box and leave it by the rubbish bins!

I met a few chimpanzees on my pilgrimages and I wasn't sure if they were just shrivelled-up villagers or chimps...

My son's got the I.Q. Of a robot but I don't have the dough to send him to school.

Today is the day that I learn women have an innate connection to Mother Nature; a sixth sense for the bitter-sweet cycle of life, whereas men are challenged with five.

Sometimes I regret going into that public toilet with your father.’‘Then practice safe sex, Mama!!’‘We were! There was a fight in the bar and we took cover in the public toilets!!

Father has a fear of flying since that aeroplane crashed into his bedroom.

Seeing his daughter slowly die, coupled with his infinite sadness and misery, the clockmaker becomes a recluse to the tower of the castle and begins to build something behind closed doors, not even his daughter knows what he’s up to. For five years, she only sees him briefly at meal-times before locking himself up in the tower once again...""...Did he have a bathroom in the tower?""Yes, Jack. A big one! En-suite! Power-shower and spa! Where was I!?

The circus is the perfect business right now because parents want their kids to be kids and not Charley Bucket drinking cabbage soup all day.

You’re wrong about one thing: fairy-tales do exist. Millions of existing parents read existing fairy-tales every night from existing books to kids who, funnily enough...’‘... exist, yeah, I know. I mean it’s fantasy, not reality.