498 Quotes by Josh Billings

Never work before breakfast; if you have to work before breakfast, eat your breakfast first.

Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain't so wicked as their neighbors.

Genuine laughing is the vent of the soul, the nostrils of the heart, and just as necessary for health and happiness as spring water is for a trout.

Music hath the charm to soothe a savage beast, but I'd try a revolver first.

The man whose only pleasure in life is making money, weighs less on the moral scale than an angleworm.

The truly innocent are those who not only are guiltless themselves but who think others are.

Ignorance ain't not knowin' stuff; ignorance is knowin' stuff that AIN'T TRUE.

Take all the fools out of this world and there wouldn't be any fun living in it, or profit.

Laughter is the fireworks of the soul.