498 Quotes by Josh Billings

Despatch is taking time by the ears; hurry is taking it by the end of the tail.

Always live within your income, even if you have to borrow money to do so.

The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease.

Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense.

When you do laugh, open your mouth wide enough for the noise to get out without squealing, throw your head back as though you were going to be shaved, hold on to your false hair with both hands and then laugh till your soul gets thoroughly rested.

The fools in this world make about as much trouble as the wicked do.

There may come a time when the lion and the lamb will lie down together, but I am still betting on the lion

Menny think tha luv their husbands almost tew deth, when in fack, tha are only jealous ov them.

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed.