368 Quotes by Karl Pilkington

If you don't have a plan, you can end up doing some interesting things.

With acting, I didn't get much from it.

If you are living the dream, how do you know if you are asleep or awake?

The great pyramid is overrated. It's a bad design. The lounge is going to be huge, but the bedroom is going to be tiny.

Happiness is like a cake: have too much of it and you get sick of it.

We're just a weed in the universe

Classes teaching you how to breathe. I'm 32, I think I've got the hang of it.

The only reason you don't go on holiday, is 'cause you have to spend money.

If you’re worrying about the wrinkles on your bollocks I’d say your life’s pretty good