21 Quotes by Kate Murphy

Listen to the opposing side as if they were going to have to write a newspaper or magazine article about them.

My need to show what I can do is keeping me from finding out what other people can do and what we can do together.

We actually all tend to make assumptions when it comes to those we love. It’s called the closeness-communication bias. As wonderful as intimacy and familiarity are, they make us complacent, leading us to overestimate our ability to read those closest to us.

You’re not listening!”“Let me finish!”“That’s not what I said!”After “I love you,” these are among the most common refrains in close relationships. While you might think you’d be more likely to listen to a loved one than a stranger, in fact, the opposite is often true.

People want the sense you get why they are telling you the story, what it means to them, not so much that you know the details of the story," Bodie told me. ...Their data suggests that listeners' responses are emotionally attuned to what speakers are saying less than 5 percent of the time, making your dog look pretty good by comparison.

To listen does not mean, or even imply, that you agree with someone. It simply means you accept the legitimacy of the other person's point of view and that you might have something to learn from it.

Silence is like white space in design, it surrounds what's important!

If someone is dull or uninteresting, it’s on you. You’re not listening.

If you’re not good at reading other people’s reactions as you speak, then just ask them. Check in. “Have I lost you?” “Did I overstep?” “What do you think?” “Are you still with me?” “Had enough?” “Am I boring you?” “Make sense?” “Too much?