31 Quotes by Ken Dodd

I told the Inland Revenue I didn't owe them a penny because I lived near the seaside

If I get a hard audience they are not going to get away until they laugh. Those seven laughs a minute -- Ive got to have them.

I feel people desperately want a laugh and what I offer them is optimistic comedy. Unlike some comics, I don't tell them what a rotten world it is. I say life is fabulous and wonderful and we should enjoy it while we can.

He must have come to about six shows and even watched a couple of them, and I have to say the finished image is just how I want to be remembered. I want people to remember me as a working comedian.

Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.

I had an idyllic childhood and when my parents bought me a Punch and Judy Show and a ventriloquist's dummy, I'd perform anywhere, anytime. My parents were wonderful when I told them I wanted to be an entertainer.

Television is like a great monster, eating your gags as fast as you say them.

Comedy should never be over-analysed. It's either funny or it isn't. There's a subtle difference between those who say funny things and those who say things funny.

Did you know that a laugh is something that comes out of a hole in your face? Anywhere else and you're in dead trouble!