305 Quotes by Mike Birbiglia

Art is socialism but life is capitalism.

The way I view comedy clubs is, people are drinking, they're ordering food, they're out for the night, and there's also a person onstage talking. And with the theater, they came to the theater, and they're waiting to hear what you say. So you'd better have something to say.

I love pizza so much, I would marry pizza, but it would just be an elaborate ploy to eat her whole family at the reception.

The thing with film is that it's so wide-reaching compared to comedy. When I release my comedy special, half a million people will see it. If I release a movie, five to ten million people will see it.

I shouldn't say bad things about the illiterate, though..I should write it. That way they won't find out.

The thing about storytelling is it's very stripped down; it's very much at the core of 'I'm a person and I'm just telling you this thing, and I need you to trust me and believe that what I'm saying is true, and if you believe that what I'm saying is true then we are connected to each other.' I think there's something really beautiful about that.

Life is unfair and improv is a great metaphor of that.

I've become good friends with Lena Dunham, and the thing I had in common with Lena when I was 24 is I was as ambitious as she was. What we don't have in common is that I was not as talented. My voice was not as clearly defined.

Does anyone know a word that rhymes with shark?