675 Quotes by P. G. Wodehouse

There was the man who seemed to be attempting to decieve his ball and lull it into a false sense of security by looking away from it and then making a lightning slash in the apparent hope of catching it off its guard.

Cats, as a class, have never completely got over the snootiness caused by the fact that in ancient Egypt they were worshipped as gods. This makes them prone to set themselves up as critics and censors of the frail and erring human beings whose lot they share.

In a series of events, all of which had been a bit thick, this, in his opinion, achieved the maximum of thickness.

I'm all for rational enjoyment, and so forth, but I think a fellow makes himself conspicuous when he throws soft-boiled eggs at the electric fan

From my earliest years I had always wanted to be a writer. It was not that I had any particular message for humanity. I am still plugging away and not the ghost of one so far, so it begins to look as though, unless I suddenly hit mid-season form in my eighties, humanity will remain a message short.

In your walks about London you will sometimes see bent, haggard figures that look as if they had recently been caught in some powerful machinery. They are those fellows who got mixed up with Catsmeat when he was meaning well.

It is fatal to let any dog know that he is funny, for he immediately loses his head and starts hamming it up.

A man who has spent most of his adult life trying out a series of patent medicines is always an optimist.

The stationmaster's whiskers are of a Victorian bushiness and give the impression of having been grown under glass.