236 Quotes by P.G. Wodehouse

He keeps looking at me so oddly.”“Oddly? How? Give me an imitation.”Considering that she had only about a second and a half to do it in, I must say it was a jolly fine exhibition. She opened her mouth and eyes pretty wide and let her jaw drop sideways, and managed to look so like a dyspeptic calf that I recognized the symptoms immediately.“Oh, that’s all right,” I said. “No need to be alarmed. He’s simply in love with you.

What it all boils down to, if you follow me, is that certain blokes — me, for example — have got much too much of the ready, while certain other blokes — the martyred proletariat, for instance — haven't got enough. This makes it fairly foul for the m.p., if you see what I mean.

I have been studying the principles of socialism deeply of late, and I came to the conclusion that I must join the cause. It looked good to me. You work for the equal distribution of property and start in by swiping all you can and sitting on it. Ah, noble scheme! Me for it!

Yes, Jeeves?"The man had materialized on the carpet. Absolutely noiseless, as usual."A note for you, sir.""A note for me, Jeeves?""A note for you, sir.""From whom, Jeeves?""From Miss Bassett, sir.""From whom, Jeeves?""From Miss Bassett, sir.""From Miss Bassett, Jeeves?""From Miss Bassett, sir."At this point, Aunt Dahlia begged us for heaven's sake to cut out the cross-talk vaudeville stuff. Always willing to oblige, I dismissed Jeeves with a nod, and he flickered for a moment and was gone.

Half a leagueHalf a leagueHalf a league onwardWith a hey-nonny-nonnyAnd a hot cha-cha.

You won't mind my calling you Comrade, will you? I've just become a socialist. It's a great scheme. You ought to be one. You work for the equal distribution of property, and start by collaring all you can and sitting on it.

The brains of members of the Press departments of motion-picture studios resemble soup at a cheap restaurant. It is wiser not to stir them.

Once in every few publishing seasons there is an Event. For no apparent reason, the great heart of the Public gives a startled jump, and the public's great purse is emptied to secure copies of some novel which has stolen into the world without advance advertising and whose only claim to recognition is that The Licensed Victuallers' Gazette has stated in a two-line review that it is 'readable'.

I don’t know if you have had the same experience, but the snag I always come up against when I’m telling a story is this dashed difficult problem of where to begin it.