236 Quotes by P.G. Wodehouse

A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of one who has searched for the leak in life's gas-pipe with a lighted candle.

I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.

If there is one thing I dislike, it is the man who tries to air his grievances when I wish to air mine.

Mike nodded. A sombre nod. The nod Napoleon might have given if somebody had met him in 1812 and said, "So, you're back from Moscow, eh?

I am not always good and noble. I am the hero of this story, but I have my off moments.

Unseen in the background, Fate was quietly slipping lead into the boxing-glove.

Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse.

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

Water!' cried Marie.'Vinegar!' recommended the bell-boy.'Eu-de-Cologne!' said Bill.'Pepper!' said Lord Tidmouth.Mary had another suggestion.'Give her air!'So had the bell-boy.'Slap her hands!'Lord Tidmouth went further.'Sit on her head!' he advised.