3 Quotes by Ray Harris

Chekhov. Well he was a bit of a lad. He had at least two dozen relationships, possibly three; some of them long term; most of the woman wanted to marry him and throughout that time he was still a constant frequenter of brothels. ‘‘Mercy. It’s a wonder he got time to write at all.

I’ve hot washed the gimp mask and I’ve stretched it.’‘How?’‘On a stretcher’.‘A gimp mask stretcher?’‘A hat-stretcher. It’s got a head bit on it…look…the same as a hat. I found a hat-stretcher.’‘Well I’ve never heard of a hat-stretcher?’‘That’s because you come from lowly origins Kevin, where hat-stretchers aren’t the norm.

When he came round he was staring up at the familiar face as Gwendolyn Dawling knelt over him about to address the nasty bump on his head. ‘I haven’t got any butter. So I hope this will do instead Father Moriarty’, she said as she removed a dollop of Flora pro.activ from the carton.‘I don’t think you use butter any more for bumps Gwendolyn.’‘Is it a Common Market thing?’‘No it’s just bad science.