57 Quotes by Richard Lewis

I'll speak for me, though it's hard for me to speak for myself because I don't know who I am

Most Texans think Hanukkah is some sort of duck call.

When you're in love it's the most glorious two and a half days of your life.

I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back.

If you want to devote yourself to the arts, you'd better do it strictly from passion, because there is zero guarantee that you'll get anywhere. The hardest thing is dealing with business people who have nothing to do with your art. They could care less that you're up at 4:30 in the morning writing a joke. Don't expect any sympathy from anybody.

My grandmother was a Jewish juggler: she used to worry about six things at once.

There's a thin line between narcissism, even if it's a healthy narcissism, and entertainment.

My act is always a work in progress. I pray I have a bad day before a show.

My wife's hip, beautiful and independent and never jealous.