149 Quotes by Spike Milligan

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

I'm not afraid of dying I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't.

Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy.

I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.

I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke.

Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?