55 Quotes by Stephen Wright

I am writing a book. I have got the page numbers done.

When I was little, my grandfather used to make me stand in a closet for five minutes without moving. He said it was elevator practice.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded

My friend invented Cliff's Notes. When I asked him how he got such a great idea, he said, "Well, first I... I just... well, to make a long story short...

One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody's satellite dish. My dreams were showing up on TV's all over the world.

One time I went to a museum where all the work in the museum had been done by children. They had all the paintings up on refrigerators.

My apartment was robbed and everything was replaced with exact replicas...I told my roommate and he said 'Do I know you?

Negative sentiment has basically led to across-the-board declines, very few stocks have escaped unscathed.

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I may have forgotten this before.