13 Quotes by Susan Jane Gilman

Happy hour?" Jason says. "It's barely noon, Grams""Oh, shush, you. You'll have some, yes?'"Well"-he smiles slyly and wiggles his eyebrows-"if you insist". Every time, it's the same thing. Leaning in, he rubs his hands together expectantly. The drinking age in New York State was raised last year, so technically, I suppose, this is still illegal for my grandson. But the Jews didn't spend forty years wandering the desert so that I could forfeit a gin and tonic with my progeny...

Every woman should see herself looking uniquely breathtaking, in something tailored to celebrate her body, so that she is better able to appreciate her own beauty and better equipped to withstand the ideals of our narrow-waisted, narrow- minded culture.

...weddings are giant Rorschach tests onto which everyone around you projects their fears, fantasies, and expectations -- many of which they've been cultivating since the day you were born.

Good girls don’t hurt other people’s feelings. Good girls are not overly aggressive, competitive, or boastful. Good girls please others. But what good girls are good for is another question.

A girl doesn’t need a guy in her life in order to act like a complete idiot. Certainly I, at least, never have.

Sure, beauty has the power to excite men. But so does a box of donuts.

Only the United States of America deemed ice cream “an essential item for troop morale.” And so it alone continued producing, ordering ice cream freezers on submarines, ice cream freezers on tankers, ice cream freezers on cargo ships. Over the course of the war, the United States military became the largest ice cream manufacturer in history.

Clowns – feh! All that ghastly, forced gaiety, worse than New Year’s Eve.

Approximately seventy percent of the female population is on a diet at any given time. More women diet than vote.