3,122 Quotes by Terry Pratchett

[Rincewind] drew his sword and, with a smooth overarm throw, completely failed to hit the troll.

They put it like that?' said Glenda, wide-eyed.'Oh, you know the sort of thing if you read the papers a lot,' said Ponder. 'I seriously think they think that it is their job to calm people down by first of all explaining why they should be overexcited and very worried.

That's why it's always worth having a few philosophers around the place. One minute it's all is truth beauty and is beauty truth, and does a falling tree in the forest make a sound if there's no one there to hear it, and then just when you think they're going to start dribbling one of 'em says, incidentally, putting a thirty-foot parabolic reflector on a high place to shoot the rays of the sun at an enemy's ships would be a very interesting demonstration of optical principles.

On the other hand the Nac Mac Feegle were always looking for a fight, in a cheerful sort of way, and when they had no one to fight they fought one another, and if one was all by himself he’d kick his own nose just to keep in practice.

IT WASN'T STEALING. IT WAS JUST... REDISTRIBUTION.

We can't just drop everything, sir!""Mister Lipwig. Is there something in the word 'tyrant' you do not understand?

In the kitchen, chickens had overflowed into the sink. They weren't making much noise, except for the occasional 'werk' a chicken makes when it's a bit uncertain about things, which is more or less all the time.

it wasn't the wearing of the hat that counted so much as having one to wear. Every trade, every craft had its hat.

We're better'n them all right. We jus' don't always win.