22 Quotes by Tim Heaton

It’s not difficult telling enemies from friends. • Your enemies say, “You don’t need to work hard.” Your friends say, “Always do your best.” • Your enemies say, “Just quit.” Your friends say, “Never give up.” • Your enemies say, “No one will ever know.” Your friends say, “Always do the right thing.” • Your enemies say, “Let’s get high.” Your friends say, “Rest in Peace.

If misery loves company, then no one in your company will every be lonely.

Yoga pants often answer questions I didn't ask.

Even-money that my liver lasts through my wife's metamorphosis to my mother-in-law.

Explaining the myriad delights of a football Saturday in the South to anyone who has not enjoyed them may be impossible – like trying to describe the ocean to a blind man.

Utopia is that idyllic place just before the mass graves are dug.

If there is such a things as "race", there is only the Human one.

I have zero tolerance for people with zero tolerance.

He avoided unpleasant topics until they had time to mellow with age; like bourbon, about a dozen years were needed to mellow the unpalatable.