330 Quotes by W. C. Fields

On the whole, I'd rather be in Philidelphia.

I'd like to see Paris before I die... Philadelphia will do.

Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got.

The work I'm doing on the screen differs from that of anyone else. My comedy is of a peculiar nature...no writers have been developed along the lines of my type of comedy and this is why I sometimes have differences with writers, supervisors and directors alike.

Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar.

Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?

Sex isn't necessary. You don't die without it, but you can die having it.

Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.