Quotes by W. C. Fields - Quotesperation

I never met a kid I liked.

-W. C. Fields

Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.

-W. C. Fields

Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.

-W. C. Fields

Ye Gads, no! I couldn't stand the noise.

-W. C. Fields

Author W. C. Fields
Quote
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
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#littles
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Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.

-W. C. Fields

I drink with impunity...or anyone else who invites me.

-W. C. Fields

Author W. C. Fields
Quote
Ultimately chess is just chess - not the best thing in the world and not the worst thing in the world, but there is nothing quite like it.
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#chess
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Ultimately chess is just chess - not the best thing in the world and not the worst thing in the world, but there is nothing quite like it.

-W. C. Fields

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

-W. C. Fields

I must have a drink of breakfast.

-W. C. Fields