1,171 Quotes by Will Rogers

They used to take your horse and if they were caught they got hung for it. Now they take your car, and if they are caught it's a miracle.

When you straddle a thing it takes a long time to explain it.

If you eliminate the names of Lincoln, Washington, Roosevelt, Jackson and Wilson, both conventions would get out three days earlier.

The way to judge a good comedy is by how long it will last and have people talk about it. Now Congress had turned out some that have lived for years and people are still laughing about them.

I'm not against (bull fighting). Some nations like to see blood, and some like to see their victims suffer from speculation... They kill the bull very quick. Wall Street lets you live and suffer.

When the Oakies left Oklahoma and moved to California, it raised the I.Q. of both states.

Prohibition is better than no liquor at all.

The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, 'How is the president?'

A president just can't make much showing against congress. They lay awake nights, thinking up things to be against the president on.