204 Quotes by Zach Galifianakis

I'd like to do a reality show with four white people...who are dropped off in a really bad black neighborhood. And the show would be called...Cracker Hunt.

I do whatever comes my way. But I get burned out on stage. It's a lonely world. I think part of the romanticism about being on the road is you get to meet a lot of - my mom once told me, "You've probably got a woman at every port." Like I'm a pirate. Obviously she doesn't know her son that well.

I wonder if in 2050 there will be a movie called, 'Dude, Where's My Spaceship'

You write things that are of interest to you. There’s no focus group.

I don’t know what my assistant would do besides get me pot.

My New Year’s resolution was to stop saying ‘You go, girl’ to myself.

I’ve been happily dedicated to the same woman for a number of years. I never even look at other women.

That’s one of the great things about comedy: we can – and should – say the things that other people aren’t supposed to say. If we didn’t do that, if we didn’t push against those limits, we’d just be standing around onstage and yelling.

I’m Greek. My body produces feta cheese.