204 Quotes by Zach Galifianakis

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

As a comic, it's anti-comedy to be known. I think a lot of comedic actors get lost in this world of Hollywood and all this stuff. They lose what brought them there in the first place. I'm very trepidatious about it.

I have to stop crying when I watch "The View". It's not because of the topics at hand, I just feel sorry for that couch.

I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.

I wish I could sit back and say, 'Oh, I'm gonna wait for a Merchant-Ivory film to come my way. Or Ivory-Merchant. Whatever it's called. But you just take what's given and then, hopefully, down the road you can be more choosy and only do, say, Wayans brothers movies. That's my goal: to be more Merchant-Ivory-Wayans.

American society loves to prop people up and then take them down.

You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name -- and you've never been to that bar before.

I've been happily dedicated to the same woman for a number of years. I never even look at other women.

Actually, I used to be a busboy in a strip joint in New York and so I hate strip joints. I'm not that kind of person.