133 Quotes by andy weir

If I could have anything, it would be a radio to ask NASA the safe path down the Ramp. Well, if I could have anything, it would be for the green-skinned yet beautiful Queen of Mars to rescue me so she can learn more about this Earth thing called “lovemaking.

As with most of life's problems, this one can be solved by a box of pure radiation.

Actually, I was the very lowest ranked member of the crew. I would only be “in command” if I were the only remaining person.”What do you know? I’m in command

If ruining the only religious icon I have leaves me vulnerable to Martian vampires, I'll have to risk it.

WATNEY: Look! A pair of boobs! -> (.Y.).

I'm calling it the Watney Triangle because after what I've been through, shit on Mars should be named after me.

Every time you victimized someone,” I said, “you were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you’ve done, you’ve done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you.

I gasped. "Wait a minute! Am I a guinea pig? I'm a guinea pig!""No, it's not like that," she said.I stared at her.She stared at me.I stared at her."Okay, it's exactly like that," she said.

Log Entry: SOL 118My conversation with NASA about the Water Reclaimer was boring and riddled with technical details. So I'll paraphrase for you:Me: "This is obviously a clog. How about I take it apart and check the internal tubing?"NASA: (After about 5 hours of deliberation) "No. You'll fuck it up and die."So I took it apart.