Did you kiss me?”“What? Why would you think that?” His smirking face seemed to give nothing away.“You bastard! Who cops a feel on an unconscious man?”“Not me. I like my feelees conscious.

I don't know how breeder marriages ever work, since the wife never seems to understand.

Roan tried not to stare, but the guard’s head was almost perfectly egg shaped. He wanted to ask him if he’d ever had a hen sit on him by mistake.

It’s an expensive place. The cheapest salad is twenty-five dollars.”“I hope that comes with extra croutons and a hand job.

He hated YouTube. He wishes it would die of mad cow disease.

He hated YouTube. He wished it would die of mad cow disease.

Cockblocked by the phone. Wanna bet it’s Focus On The Family or some Satanic organization like?