Moderation: a median with no means, praised by those with no misfortunes, practiced by those with no merits.

The stoic contemplates fallen leaves; the epicure rakes them into a loveseat.

Bragging about your compassion is the first step towards feeling a genuine emotion.

First people lose their hair, then their vices, then their motivation. Then a toupee brings it all flowing back.

The amount of educational programming on television today is simply desensitizing. The only reason left to go to school is to see gun violence.

Sympathy is why when a man is getting mugged, you let him keep his shirt after you take his life. Funerals are respectable affairs, after all.

There is an enduring freshness in what remains strange and obscure which the cliches of greatness can only evoke nostalgia for.

To die famous is the goal of the immortal. To die young is the goal of the healthy. To die memorably is the goal of the survivor.

Making love to a person in their sleep is the only guarantee they'll wake up with a smile on their face.